My Perfect Page
I spot a blooming succulent, pick up my non-photo blue pencil, block out my proportions - perfect, check. I pick up my pencil, imprint some charcoal - perfect, details check; shape & size check. I pick up my watercolors, a few splashes of vibrant pigments, perfect - color & values check ! I pick up my brush pen, mark my highlights, throw in some background. My perfect page, check! A sigh of relief, I didn’t mess it up, I never want to mess it up … fear, check.
An Attempt Towards Unchecking My Fear Box
A year ago, It took me anywhere from six hours to a whole week to complete a single two-page field entry. If thats your intention it’s not a bad thing at all. It wasn’t mine. After spotting a critter, my brain would tune into the most beautiful flow states of I notice, I wonder, and It reminds me of … and a few hours later I would return home with faint blue markings from my non-photo blue pencil, only to realize filling back my pages was now a chore.
Then, Africa happened. We saw our first Thomson’s Gazelle! Then a Grant’s Gazelle. Then a Topi, Bush Buck, Water Buck, Dik Diks, …. and don’t even get me started with the cats and birds. Imagine my six hours per critter journaling habit trying to sieve through this avalanche of information. After a day or two of cognitive warfare, my brain began optimizing. It started prioritizing information flow and focusing on how I saw the world through my own lens. Now, what I saw in the Gazelles was only the information that was needed to help me differentiate between the twenty or so antelope family members I was about to see on this magical journey. My intent was set - The Comparative study of visual features in the Antelope family. It didn’t matter if my proportions or shapes were inaccurate as long as my brain was capable of associating my chosen form with an Antelope. Here is what I came up with … Boxy Gazelles!
After returning from our African nature journaling trip with Jack, this habit stuck and more so, flourished!
Empowering My Brain By Setting Intent!
Let me revisit ‘My Perfect Picture’ example I started this article with. There are multiple choices you can make depending on your intent. Here are some examples of how I chose to re-do the same page and independently focus on color (an idea spawned by Amy Schleser), size and details. Try it yourself ! Pick a subject of your liking and focus on just one aspect of it. By doing a little less, you will end up doing much more!
Building My Own Creative Construct
I think, we are all perfectionist in our own capacity. I have come to the realization that a mind which is hard wired by perfectionism will use all available means to create a perfect picture. What if you intentionally constrained these available means and programmed your creative construct to allow for ‘happy accidents’ ?
Eight months ago, I stopped using anything but a thick Pental water brush and a black brush pen in the field. The idea was to drop any journaling tool which gets me too critical of my page and degrades my connection with nature. So - no erasers, no correction pens, no rulers to draw perfect straight lines, and no more pencils in the field.
“There are no mistakes, just happy accidents.” - Bob Ross
First month was scary. I would twitch at every disproportionate bird I drew that could not be fixed. Next month, I got used to it. In the third month I experienced a sense of freedom like never before. My in-field faint non-photo blue pencil marks transformed into bright bold brush pen strokes with vibrant gouache fills. By the fourth month, my brain and my journal had formed a prolific bond of creativity.
Please note, this is just my current in-field kit and I still practice with all kinds of medium when I am back home. I have my fun Posca pens, Prisma color pencils, Tombow brush pens and so much more. But when I am in the field, my intent is to be quick, fearless and automatic.
My Journal Is A Cognitive Tool, Not An End In Itself
I want to reach a place where my journal is not an end it itself, rather it is a journaling tool to augment my cognitive process while in nature. I want to be more mindful of what is in front of me and use my pages as an extension of my brain. A place where my thoughts can run wild and free. I want to build a page without any fear. Am I there yet? Maybe not, but it is still liberating.
